What It Takes
by TheThirdAetas
Summary: Set before 2k7 CGI film. When they got their last letter from Leo, the reactions were immediate. Mikey was confused. Donnie was in disbelief. Splinter resigned himself to acceptance. And Raph...well, Raph was pissed. But when it comes to family, they all have to make compromises if they're going to make things works...and this is what it takes to remain a family.


Hey everyone! How's it going? Life sucks? Nahhhh, you're just being too cynical. Life's wonderful? Hah, you idealistic optimist.

Anyways, I watched the 2k7 movie for the third time and each time, I kept wondering...Why did Leo stay in South America when it's so obvious he was miserable? How did his family back in NY react to his decision, especially since they ended up growing further apart without Leo's presence in the sewers? Why is Raph so intent on punishing Leo for his decision to extend his training?

And knowing Raphie-boy, right when he found out about it, he was probably ready to go over to the jungle and haul his older brother's ass back home.

So, here's just my way of dealing with my desperate confusion. :)

Thank you for stopping by!

**Warning: **Some cussing, possible OOC, considered AU

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**What It Takes**

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_Hey Raph. _

_Thanks for actually choosing to read this letter instead of ripping it to shreds. I know that's what you're going to do after you read this, but at least you decided to hear me out first._

_I'm sorry for worrying you, by the way. Donnie told me about how he had to fix up your punching bag for the 53__rd__ time this week. Yes, he's actually been counting, you know how Donnie is. And Mikey…did you really sit on his chest for asking, "So, how do you think Leo's doing?"_

_Never mind…that was rhetorical. Of course you did. _

_Anyways, no. I'm not dead. I'm fine. _

_That probably makes you even angrier, though. You're probably glaring at my words right now, growling about how "angry" doesn't even come close to cutting it. And, now, you're probably going to go around the house breaking something, picturing it as my face (please avoid throwing your sai through the TV…again. You know how hard it is to find parts for that). _

_Either way, just understand one thing, Raph, if nothing else: I'm sorry. I really am. _

_I know I should've been back weeks ago. I should be there catching up with everyone, training with all of you, and getting into some ridiculous argument with you again (would you believe me if I told you that I don't go through one day without getting into a row with the mental-you in my head? I'm going crazy down here, I know). It's just that, I can't leave yet. Master Splinter sent me out here to become a better leader and I know you couldn't care less about that, but still, Raph, still, there's so many things I need to do and…_

…_And I can't say exactly when I'll come back. I will, though. You may not believe me, but I will. _

_Donnie will have everything under control back home. Or, well, have Mikey under control. And try not to give him too much of a hard time–he takes your temper tantrums to heart (I have a feeling you'll kill me for that statement when you see me). _

_This will be the last letter I send to you until I see everyone again. Please don't write to me. I won't be able to stay in the same place for long, so I won't be able to get your letters. Also, of all the things to take personally, don't let it be that one. I asked everyone else to do the same. _

_If it means anything, I'm doing this for Master Splinter. For Mikey and for Don. _

_I'm doing this for you._

_The fact that I'm still gone proves it._

_Your brother,_

_**Leonardo**_

-0-0-0-0-0-

Raph stood up from the tatami mat.

"No…"

The young turtle's hands shook. He turned the letter over and over again, wildly searching all over the piece of paper for something that wasn't there. Because all he held in his hands was just one lone piece of paper that held meaningless ink that made even more meaningless lines and shapes.

"…He can't…"

Raph snapped his head up from his letter, amber eyes flashing harshly through the shadows that suddenly settled within every inch of the sewers.

He paid no mind to how Mikey flinched as he went through his own letter once more, the death grip he had it in tight enough to tear a hole in the middle.

And his attention wasn't anywhere near to how Donnie looked blankly at nowhere in particular, absently folding the note in his hands into sixteenths before he threw it away to the side.

Raph could only see his father's onyx eyes looking steadily at him.

That carefully cloaked, infinitely calm stare and the weary weight that seemed to push down on it.

…_Weary…_

Raph's sanity quickly down-spiraled and desperation began to build up in his throat in the form of bile. Forcing himself to gulp it all down, he crushed the letter in his hands into an unrecognizable ball of nothing.

And he hurled the ball as far away as possible.

"Master Splinter!" yelled Raph, looking back as his sensei with barred teeth. "We're not gonna let 'im do this, are we!?" Even before those words left his mouth, Raph saw it; the answer hidden behind his father's eyes. But it was what he saw that made his face fall into a vicious scowl. "_Are we_!?"

"Raph's right."

Master Splinter slowly turned his head to his youngest son, his eyebrows raising as he realized that _yes…_his ears were not fooling him. "Michelangelo?"

Mikey never looked up from his letter, but there was a palpable anxiety painted all over his face that said everything.

"Raph's right," Mikey softly repeated. "This isn't right. Or, well, something isn't right." He held up a thoroughly crumpled paper in his hands. He finally looked up at Splinter, cerulean irises pleading. "Leo's going on and on and _on_ about honor. I mean, the dude always does but in here, it's like he needs to keep reminding himself about it or something."

It was Donnie who put a hand on Mikey's slumped shoulders, a meaningful glint rimming his eyes as he looked up at his sensei.

"We need to get him back before this goes any further, Master Splinter. He's been isolated from everything and everyone familiar to him for a prolonged period of time. Then considering he's a mutant turtle, I doubt he has been able to find the adequate compensation for _both_ the figurative and literal losses. And…And I think…" Donnie's fingers tightened around Mikey's shoulder. "…I _know_ it distorted the boundary between what he thinks is the truth and what the truth actually is."

Splinter clutched the cane in his hands tighter, closing his eyes shut briefly as he took in a deep breath before daring to say anything.

"My sons," he sighed out in a quiet voice. "If this is what his heart is telling him, we must let Leonardo be. This may be difficult for all of us to accept and I expect nothing less than uncertainty over what course of action to follow." Against his will, Master Splinter's voice began to waver. "But of us all, it is your brother who needs to learn the importance of–"

"No," Raph interjected with a deep growl, pressing his quivering fists against his sides. "Don't give me any of that Leadership Skills Enhancement crap, he didn't even need that in the first place!" Frustration penetrated through each of Raph's words and it made his chest throb painfully. "Now his stupid need to always be perfect in every single damn thing is keeping him from comin' back home and I'll go to hell before I let that–"

"Raphael!"

Master Splinter's cane struck against the ground sharply, the sound unsympathetically echoing within the room.

Mikey and Don immediately backed down.

The fire in Raph's eyes never even faded.

"Enough of this," Splinter demanded with a tone of finality. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Raph stand his ground. "It is not for you or your brothers to decide on what are the thoughts reflecting through Leonardo's mind. It is not up to any of you to choose when Leonardo returns. Nor is such a purpose meant for me," he slowly stated.

His eyes passed over each and every one of his turtles.

"You must accept this even if your intuition speaks to you." Michelangelo averted his eyes downwards. "You must understand this even if the knowledge you hold tells you differently." Donatello began to fidget with the sash around his stomach. "And Raphael…"

Master Splinter looked straight into his son's burning amber eyes, treading carefully as he watched Raphael's battle stance only strengthen. "…You must accept and understand this even when the love for your brother gives rise to the blinding demons of your fear and anger."

Amber eyes froze over with shock, wide and unprepared for his sensei's words.

On both sides of the spectrum, both Mikey and Don felt exactly the same way.

Master Splinter smiled half-heartedly. "Do not deny these tendencies you fall into, my sons. Just find your way to accomplish overcoming them. For you three must remember: to pick fruits off a tree before it has ripened will only leave a bitter taste on your tongue."

He let out a quiet, almost imperceptible sigh.

"And a fruit that rots away just as bitterly."

An asphyxiating sort of silence thundered within everyone's ears, deafening everything else around them until all was left was a thick, heavy ringing that their minds could barely reach through.

"ALRIGHT."

Out of nowhere, twin red-handled sais shot out and cut through the air, creating gaping cracks on the brick wall beside them and jagged lines on the stone floors below them.

"I won't…"

Both Donnie and Mikey jumped in their place on the floors, auburn eyes turned towards the floor and cerulean irises glued to the wall.

"…I won't do anything."

Raphael's head had dropped down low towards his chest, but it did nothing to cover over the glower that marred his face. His shoulders slouched forwards, one hand held out to the side and the other lying limply against his thigh. And his eyes began to edge out of reality the longer he looked down at the ground.

Master Splinter could sense that. He _was_ sensing that. He didn't have to look any further than his son's eyes. Even as hidden as they were from the world, it emanated the inescapable _demons_ that constantly accompanied Raph's poisonous thoughts and theories.

Containing a frustrated sigh, Master Splinter closed his eyes briefly. "I will trust your words on that, Raphael."

At their sensei's words, Mikey and Donnie tore their eyes away from the two, lone weapons sticking out from the dividers, blocking the scene away from their minds as they forced themselves to turn back to Raphael.

Their brother who stood with an unrelenting conviction threatening to ram everyone to the ground.

Their brother whose body shook with suppressed fury.

…_Suppressed…_

It was a notion that honestly scared Mikey and Donnie more than they could ever be able to explain.

"I ain't saying I'm giving up," Raph said lowly, his words cut forebodingly through the ringing in his family's ears. "'Cause I'm gonna break sooner or later. And when that comes, I don't care if I gotta gag Leo and throw him in the next plane. Shell, if I have to, I'll _tie_ 'im to me."

The only thing that stopped Mikey from piping up at that last sentence was Donnie's fingers pressing warningly against the back of his neck.

"I won't go disappearin' off into the night any time soon, Masta Splinter," Raph further acquiesced, slowly pivoting on his heel before he began to walk out of the room. He said nothing until he reached the open door, pausing as he reached out to take the metal archway in a tense grip.

He didn't dare look back at his father.

At his brothers.

_The family Leo had chosen to leave behind._

Raph clenched his eyes tightly.

"But six months is more than enough, already. And I ain't gonna wait much longer."

With those last words as his parting gift, Raph was gone; leaving behind a gaping doorway that mockingly mimicked a monster's waiting mouth.

A mouth Raphael just departed into.

"Oh my _shell_, you guys."

Mikey let out an explosive sigh before falling to his side, a miserable look forming on his face as he lightly banged a loose fist against the floor. And without turning his head towards Donnie, he reached out with his foot to lightly nudge against his older brother's knee.

Donnie instantaneously looked down at Mikey, grabbing the younger one's toes to stop it from continuing its attack against his leg.

"What is it, Mikey?" Donnie said tiredly, rubbing one eye with the heel of his palm. "You have something to say?"

Mikey merely nodded, not even bothering to call Donnie out on such a ridiculous question.

"He's going to be gone in a month," he murmured without delay, not bothering to sugarcoat anything. He pressed the side of his face against the floor. "I'll bet my whole collection of mint condition _Superman_ comics on it, Donnie. In a month, he's going to say goodbye, leave us too and it's going to be just you, me, and Master Splinter for who _knows_ long."

In a pathetic attempt to comfort his sibling, Donnie half-heartedly poked at Mikey's toes. And in a thoughtless move to merely admit the inevitable…

"He's not that patient, Mikey. He's never been the one to wait for things to come to him when he could just go over and take it for himself," he sighed. "He'll be gone within a week."

Mikey froze at that, a sudden comprehension striking through him like lightning. "Yea," Mikey muttered, curling further into himself as he furrowed his eyebrows together. "You're right."

Donnie blinked several times, his eyes widening as his _perfectly_ _timed_ stupidity made it through his ears.

"Oh shell, Mikey," Donnie said, outright flinching as pressed a hand against his eyes. "I didn't…I didn't mean tha–" Donnie stopped himself. And shaking his head firmly, he took a deep breath before saying, "I didn't mean _to say_ that."

Mikey shrugged one shoulder, tilting his head downwards with a blank smile stretched on his lips. "I know, Donnie. But it's okay and it's all good." He turned his eyes away from his guilt-ridden older sibling. "Because you're right, dude…like you always are."

Donnie didn't take his eyes off of Mikey's hopeless face, watching as the younger turtle picked insistently with the loose straws of the tatami mat he was lying on.

"Of course," Donnie said, his throat beginning to fight against him. "Like I always am."

And for the first time ever since he led his sons further from the surface world and deeper into a life underground…

…Master Splinter didn't know what to do.

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**Fin**

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Oh, hey, hope you weren't bothered with the "Raph's going to leave in a month" phrases at the end...we all know he stayed. This was just an assumption made by Donnie and Mikey since Raph reacted really badly to the news.

Hope this wasn't too melodramatic! We all know life's just a big, ol' soap opera anyways. :)


End file.
